Sara Fisher, our Mixology Mistress (you can find her behind the bar at Hazlewood in Ballard and the Hideout on First Hill) whipped up these Joan Jett inspired cocktails for you and your badass babes to toast Ms. Jett’s induction into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame tonight! Proceed with caution however, as these cocktails – much like Joan herself – are not for the faint of heart.
The French Song
For this song I wanted a cocktail that gave off the, “You’re sexy, gritty AND also a goddamn lady”. Inspired by that, I used this really lovely cognac that has this very soft, slightly sweet quality to it. Then in equal proportions, added Suze–which is this aperitif that is gentian root based that is very earthy, slightly bitter and herbal. The equal parts, grapefruit and celery bitters add to the bittersweet profile of the cocktail.
1.5 oz Park cognac
1.5 oz Suze aperitif
3 dashes Scrappy’s grapefruit bitters
Add all ingredients into mixing glass with ice. Strain into a coupe glass–or any fancy unstable, highfalutin’ stemware and garnish with a brandied cherry.
You’re an adult now and yooooou’ve got this.
.75 oz Tequila
.75 oz Green Chartreuse
.5 oz Demerara syrup*
Add all ingredients to mixing tin. Add ice and stir. Strain into champagne flute. You can’t be bothered with a garnish.
I know that some could argue a song like this would warrant more of a tougher cocktail than a sugary champagne one, but I’ve always seen this anthem as a celebration–and what goes better with a celebration than some bubbles? Also, with this song I wanted to embrace the concept, “this is a great idea and a terrible idea” by taking two alcoholic heavy hitters (tequila and green chartreuse), adding even more sugar and topping it off with CHAMP-it-just-goes-straight-
(*That’s a simple syrup made from Demerara sugar–a raw sugar)
Beer. Shot. Beer. Shot. Repeat this until any one of the following occurs…
• Over-share details of your personal life to anyone and everyone who is too nice to walk away. Remember: this is your time to shine. Tell ’em EXACTLY how you’ve been doing.
• End up at a strange bar at last call and repeatedly make a drunken musical request to the annoyed bartender to play Beyoncé latest album. Yeah, it’s not Joan Jett but you love rock n’ roll and you don’t discriminate. DRUNK-EN LOOO000VVVE!
• House party? Befriend the pet cat that you’re wildly allergic to. Pick it up and press it to your chin and yell “look at my BEARD everyone”! Everybody will think you’re hilarious and the cat will not scratch you.
Shot-gun that beer and sip on that shot, ’cause you’re a goddamn lady.