Jeff Bezos walks into my coffee shop and orders a dry cappuccino. The drink costs $3.03 with tax, but I tell him that $3 is fine, because I know Jeff Bezos enjoys a deal. He gives me a sly smile. Jeff Bezos does not tip.
I’m walking past Cal Anderson and Jeff Bezos and I lock eyes. He’s sitting on a bench with the newspaper. Jeff Bezos is having trouble filling out the crossword, just like me. Jeff’s dressed down for the weekend and is wearing a hoodie.
My sister’s Amazon Prime 30-day free trial is over and I can’t stream The Hunger Games. I log onto Amazon Help Center Instant Chat.
customer342: having trouble logging on
helpcenter1: having trouble connecting
customer342: what? i need new password
helpcenter1: it’s me. jeff bezos. can we talk?
customer342 has left Instant Chat
I spot Jeff Bezos sipping a juice in an independent bookstore. He’s hunched over in the feminist zine section, scowling into a trifold. I raise my hand and wave in his direction. Jeff Bezos raises a single finger to his closed lips and slowly shakes his head.
I’m at show in the U-District and I see Jeff Bezos standing near the merch table. He’s buying a patch. Jeff Bezos asks me if I know how to sew. I reply “yes,” but he can’t hear me because of his earplugs.
Jeff Bezos is at the pot store, and he’s rolling his eyes at the eager and stoned salesman behind the counter. Jeff Bezos is just trying to buy one joint and get out of there, he’s not some mega stoner or something. On his way out, you nod towards him from your place in line. Jeff Bezos smiles and shrugs.
