This past weekend marked the beginning of the second Eclipse Season for 2015 with a partial solar eclipse on September 13th. The full lunar eclipse on September 27th will round the season out. Eclipses, either of the sun or the moon, generate a significant amount of energy that influences us to turn our focus within – to examine our shadow nature, and at times the darker side of our emotions and actions. This can be brought into the bedroom by exploring the inkier side of our sexuality; engaging in sexual activities that address the shadow self through alternative consensual play which allows us the opportunity for safe exploration into the depths of our erotic desires.
A solar eclipse occurs when the New Moon moves directly into position between the Sun and the Earth. This literal blockage of the rays that provide us with necessary light to sustain life on our planet also has a mystic, metaphysical impact on us deep within our psyche that often calls us to shift our focus to the areas of self that need care or more specific intention. The solar eclipse that occurred on Sunday was a partial eclipse, meaning that the masculine energy of the Sun was not fully obscured by the feminine energy of the Moon. This is a unique opportunity to unite shadow and light selves, to explore your dark desires in balance and with support from your light nature.
Astrologically, this eclipse transpired in the sign of Virgo. The qualities associated with this sign include the more Type A personality traits of bossiness, organization, analysis, criticism, and rigidity. How do these behaviors translate to the bedroom and our sensual escapades? This period could be a wonderful opportunity for you to try on a more powerful and dominant persona sexually or explore the role of control in seductive encounters.
When a Full Moon moves into the shadow of the Earth, a lunar eclipse occurs. Unlike a solar eclipse, in a lunar eclipse the Moon does not completely “disappear.” Instead, the Moon acquires a colored hue that usually falls anywhere from reddish brown to a dusky orange. Lunar eclipses deal with emotions and relationship energy; feelings of restlessness, impatience, and general discomfort in one’s own skin are not uncommon.
The lunar eclipse that is set to unfold on September 27th will specifically stir up those things within ourselves that are ready to die and be let go. The desire to express your true self will take center stage, which may bring about necessary change in personal relationships. The theme of balance is again brought into focus as this eclipse takes place when the Sun is in Libra and the Moon is in Aries. It is an alluring opportunity to meld the indulgent, luxuriously seductive qualities of Libra with the fiery, passionate, and take-charge qualities of Aries in your carnal activities. The later part of this month could signal the climax of your mid-month sexual exploration. It could be a beautiful time to confidently embrace and integrate into your ongoing erotic routine the deviant activities you may have enjoyed experimenting with the most, or it could signal an evolution into a more adventurous sexual energy you.
All this talk about control, aggression, direct expression, and power brings us to this month’s theme of sexual exploration, BDSM (definition below). BDSM can be a bold and empowered way to experiment with your shadow desires, assuming you are up for a little thrill. I’ve compiled a short list of introductory exercises to get you started, ranging in rating and intensity from PG-13 to NC-17. As with any sort of experimental sex play, especially when the potential for injury is heightened, consent is key. Make sure you have an open discussion with your partner before engaging in any of the following activities, and come up with a safe word or phrase for either of you to verbalize if things become too intense.
BDSM: An overlapping abbreviation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). – Urban Dictionary
Have you ever fantasized about being tied down and stripped of your ability to control the situation that is unfolding before you? Try restraints. Go the simple route by binding your lover’s hands, or take things a few steps further by securing all of their limbs. Either way, the thrill of being under your total command should have you both feeling an extra dose of exhilaration and arousal.
Pro tip: Bondage play is an excellent chance to deepen your art of the tease. Try bringing your partner to the threshold of climax and then backing off and leaving them aching for more but being powerless to act until you decide it’s time to resume the party.
Get into the pain game.
So, you’ve tried bondage and are looking for something a little more physical. Up the intensity of your play and (safely) relieve aggression by engaging in some flogging, spanking, tweaking, or scratching. Invest in a sexy riding crop, find a kitchen-free use for that wooden spoon, or simply use a nice, flat palm and get to spanking. Buy a leather whip, gather up some electrical cords, or grab an old belt and experiment with flogging. Got some expert claws? Scratch away at your partner’s back, well beyond the point of things feeling good. Pinch those nipples, make them squirm.
Pro tip: Physical pain can be extremely erotic; blood and bodily fluids may not. Always start by stopping before skin is broken. If you make a mutual decision to go further, dental dams and surgical gloves will be your best defense against disease.
Restrict the senses.
Blindfolds, sensory deprivation suits, earplugs, total confinement hood masks, and ball gags… these are a few of my favorite things! Take away your partner’s ability to see what you are doing to them with a simple blindfold made from a scarf or bandana. Remove their ability to hear what’s going on with earplugs, or by covering their ears with headphones playing music you’ve selected for the occasion. Combine two or more restricted senses for a more extreme effect. Get fancy and order a latex bondage suit (American Horror Story Season 1 anyone?) if you’re feeling extra adventurous.
Pro tip: At this level of play, things can get very intense. When one or more of your senses is taken away, the potential for panic and fear can be very real. Always make sure your partner is able to breathe and in a conscious state. With a good level of trust and a safe word in place, this can also be an extremely rewarding and thrilling adventure.
So there you have it. Embrace the energetic shift to the dark side that this month’s eclipses provide and give yourself the gift of shadowplay in the bedroom. You might just learn something unexpected about yourself in the process…